You Set My Soul Alight William T Spears Oneshot
by iampinja
Summary: *Request "William, Grell, and I. My little family. It made me realize something, the William I had fallen in love with wasn't lost. He lived snugly in my memories, and I would be content on watching from the background for a little while longer. Even if he never returned my feelings, he was still my best friend and always would be."


"Here you go," I said placing a report on William's desk and plopping down in one of his two plain guest chairs. Dispatch had sent me out to collect a soul that was meant for one of Will's subordinates, but he was too busy with all of his current work to go out and actually do it. Which brings me to the situation now.

I had to play this cool, or else he would just blow me off like all the other times. I was determined to get a full conversation out of the man, and not just his normal short answers. After a few awkwardly silent seconds waiting for him to speak, I tried again. "It's the report from my last collection Dispatch sent me on, you know the one that you were supposed to do." Another minute ticked by before I broke the tension again.

"So, how have you been lately? I haven't really talked to you all that much."

"I've been fine." Was all the stoic man said.

"Are you-"

"Don't you have another soul to collect today? Or would you prefer to put in more overtime this week?" He finally looked up at me over his glasses. His eyes, just like his voice, held no emotion. Although, when I looked close enough I could see a foreign emotion deep within his green irises.

"Nope, I dropped that one on Grell." I giggled a bit remembering the face of my friend as he got talked into more work. He had fallen for the 'I'm-overworked-and-need-a-break-or-else-I'm-going-to-die-of-exhaustion'. After so many scares when we were younger, I could basically get him to do anything with that excuse. I was glad that he had such funny expressions, or else I would be fuming about Will cutting me off. But, I had to remain calm. It was always darkest before the dawn, or well that's what I'd like to tell myself.

"Is there something else you need, Kait?" Said male muttered as he looked back down at his large stack of papers. It seems as if I wasn't the only one taking extra overtime this month. I had a feeling that most of it was unintended and Grell had been a part of it. He had been fraternizing in the human world an awful lot lately.

"Not really." I lied.

To tell the truth, I had come in here for the sole purpose of talking to the Shinigami in front of me, that and to deliver that convenient report. William had been my best friend since we were both children. It was kind of accidental how we met actually, but I liked to think of it as fate.

William was sitting by himself, as usual, when a group of older kids came over and started antagonizing him. It wasn't in my nature to just let somebody get bullied like that, so of course I had to step in. It wasn't right for them to be making fun of someone younger than them, they didn't know his situation. Actually, no one did really. William was shy, he kept to himself and didn't have many friends of his own. I think that was the reason he was so grateful for my involvement in his torment. I knew what it was like to be alone, I didn't have any family that I could remember. And worst of all, I had no recollection of my early childhood, all I remember is the orphanage.

Over the years, William and I stayed close but I was starting to become wrapped up in work. We both were. I had dreamed of becoming a Shinigami my whole life, and I'd be damned if I let something as minuscule as my gender get in the way. It was stupid how just because I was a girl, I had to train harder and be put through more tests than the others. It was as if they thought I couldn't do it, but I showed them. I poured all of my blood, sweat, and tears into my training and put in as much overtime as I possibly could without passing out. Unfortunately, I did spend many nights in the hospital from exhaustion or dehydration, but Grell and Will were normally there to pull me away before it could get that far. Work came first, it always had. That was until I started feeling things for William, things that friends shouldn't feel. I was starting to fall for the tall reaper, unfortunately he wasn't there to catch me.

"Ait? Kait? _Kait_!" Deep voice shouted from somewhere in front of me. It took me a few seconds to realize that Will had been calling me and that I had been so lost in my thoughts that I had spaced out completely.

"What? Sorry,"

"I said, is there anything else you'd like to discuss? Because my shift is almost over." He stacked his papers up accordingly and then straightened them with a quick tap to the table. I watched his movements closely trying to work up the courage to ask the thing I had originally came in to ask in the first place.

"Oh no," Quickly standing up I patted down the invisible wrinkles on my black dress pants and sucked in a large breath. "Actually, yes. I would like to ask you something."

William's attention was gone from me and once again focused on his work in front of him. It was unnerving. Fearing rejection I decided that now wasn't exactly the best time to ask my best friend on a date. I stood for a few seconds, just in case he looked up at me once more, but he never did. It was never like this before; he would have given me his full attention even when I was talking about the simplest things. I tried pushing my rage down, but unfortunately everything started flying out before I could control it.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?! Why do you _always_ push _everyone_ away?!" I screeched. "I've been there for you, always! When those stupid kids would pick on you, when you and Grell would fight, when you lost your glasses. You know, you really had me going for a while, acting as if you actually cared. But I can see now that you never really liked me, you were just afraid to be alone!" Panting, I placed my hands palm down on his desk with my head hanging low. It wasn't like me to get emotional about things like this, but I had held everything in for way too long.

"Can't you see that I've liked you all this time? I loved you back when we were just trainees and I love you now! Am I that invisible to you, William?! Where did the man that I fell in love with all those years ago go? Because, you obviously aren't him. The William I knew was caring and looked out for everyone and not just himself. He never used people just for his personal gain. If you have no intention of continuing this relationship than tell me, because I refuse to hang on to someone who isn't willing to catch me." Nearing tears, I whispered out what had been hanging around my head for sometime.

"Goodbye, William." Walking quietly over towards the door, I grabbed the handle and opened the door. Pausing only when I heard a voice speak from behind me.

"Kait,"

Turning slightly, I waited for Will to continue.

"I hadn't realized before how difficult this job really was, and I'm sorry for pushing you away. I thought that if I cut everything off then it would be easier for me to cope."

I turned fully facing him now. His voice, it was as if I was stepping back in time and he was still the sweet, naïve boy I had grown to know. His eyes weren't so dead looking anymore, and I couldn't help but accept his apology.

"It's alright, I didn't know you were under that kind of stress." I looked to the floor in shame for yelling at him earlier, although it did help to get us where we were now. I made a quick, crucial, and spur-of-the-moment decision.

"William, would you like to come out with me tonight? Not for work, but on our own time? I'd like to get to know you better, the new you, not the one I keep trying to find."

I could have kicked myself for how stupid I was sounding. First I was yelling at him, now I'm asking him out on a date. Now that I've worked up the courage to do so, I'm sure I looked like a major idiot. The thought of him saying no, crossed my mind a few times and I played out what my reaction would be. I actually wouldn't be surprised if he turned me down seeing as how I had just ripped him a new one.

There was silence for what felt like eternity before I heard the gentle scraping of his chair in the floor. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes closed, just waiting for his rejection. I jumped when I felt something touch my hand. Looking down I saw that it was Williams.

Turning to face him, I saw the thing in his eyes that I had long forgotten he could hold. Amusement. I smiled up at him. My insides were dancing, but I had to control them, he hadn't technically agreed to anything yet.

"So, is that a yes?" I asked hesitantly, trying to hide the excitement welling in my eyes.

"I'm afraid not," He bluntly stated. "I have lots of work to get done." He walked back to his desk and sat, once again, behind his large desk. I'm sure my face held shock, pain, and embarrassment. I had just given him an ultimatum and he had turned me down, rejected me, left me to fall alone. If that's what he wanted, then fine. I would honor his wishes and leave him alone, even though it pains me to do so.

"Goodbye, William." Just as I was about to close his office door, most likely for the last time, I took a quick glance back at William. I was surprised to see his eyes lock with mine for a second. After all of the reminiscing that I had gone through today, I couldn't help but get pulled into the past for a second. Back when we everything wasn't so serious.

* * *

_Collapsing on the bed of my best friend, William, I almost fell asleep. It had been a long day already, and it was only just beginning. I hadn't realized that being a Shinigami took this much work, but I wasn't going to complain. I wanted this, and I was going to do anything to get to the top._

_"Are you alright?" Will asked coming up to sit beside me. Handing me a glass of water he waited for my reply. I was grateful for him; he was my support system during all of this and I was his. Although, just because I was a girl I had to go through more strenuous trainings than he or Grell did. It wasn't fair really, but then again no one had ever heard of a female reaper before I came along. They were just scared that I was going to upstage them was all. At least, that's what I liked to convince myself._

_"I'm fine," I lied. It was only noon and already I had been training for five hours, with another nine to go. It was how all of my days were, work, work, and more work. I wasn't complaining though, no I'd never do that. Even when I was in the most dire situation, I couldn't ask for help. I had to do this on my own, I had to prove myself._

_"You don't look fine," He pointed out. "Why do you put yourself through this Kait? Don't you see what it's doing to you?" Will's eyes were full of concern, which wasn't uncommon lately. Both he and Grell had been on me about over working, but I never listened and they knew that._

_"I told you, I'm fine, I just need to rest my eyes for a bit." I slurred, as everything seemed to become dark around me. It wasn't sleep, because even when I tried my hardest I couldn't open my eyes again. "Will, I think-" I tried calling hoarsely, but it was too late. I was already swallowed in the darkness._

_It wasn't even five seconds before I opened my eyes again, but this time I wasn't staring at the familiar cream ceiling of William's room. No, this was pale white. My eyelids felt heavy and hard to keep open, but I did with effort. Feeling the scratchy sheets against my skin, I looked down at the white fabric in realization. I was in a hospital. The voices started to register then, William's and even Grell's._

_"What did you do to her?!" Grell was yelling. "You know as well as I do that she needs to rest in between trainings!"_

_"I know that, but she was resting when she fainted." Came William's calm, if not worried, reply._

_"Stop yelling, my head is killing me." I sat up and scolded the two. The sight before me was comical, but not all that uncommon. Grell was all up in Will's face, nose to nose, as they were in another one of their arguments. Normally, I was there to step in before anything serious happened, but now I was just too tired to really care._

_"Kait, dear!" Grell ran over and hugged me, Will was at my side the next second._

_"You should have told me that you weren't feeling well, we've been over this Kait." He scolded. Yes, this wasn't the first time I had ended up in the hospital from over working myself. Most of the time it was from exhaustion, but other times it was things like dehydration._

_"Sorry," I looked down at my twiddling thumbs, my ash blonde bangs covering my eyes in shame. Suddenly, they were covered by two pale hands._

_"Please, try harder to take better care of yourself Kait. You're one of the few people I can tolerate, and I don't need you dying and leaving me with him." Grell tried to scold me, but then ended up turning his anger on Will._

_"You have to stop working yourself this hard, Kait. I can't have anything serious happening to you, you're my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."_

_"I promise, guys, once I get to be a real Shinigami, I'll stop working so hard. But until then, I plan on doing everything in my power to get to the top, and I hope to see you there with me." I gripped both of their hands before pulling them into a group hug. The looks on their faces was priceless. "I don't know what I would do without the two of you."_

* * *

A large smile broke out on my face as I replayed one of my most prized memories. It wasn't anything special, but we were all there, all three of us. William, Grell, and I. My little family. It made me realize something, the William I had fallen in love with wasn't lost. He lived snugly in my memories, and I would be content on watching from the background for a little while longer. Even if he never returned my feelings, he was still my best friend and always would be.

No matter what I said, no matter what I did, I would always love that reaper. The one they call William T Spears.


End file.
